2/13/24
AHEM. Yoohoo. Me again. All this throat clearing … just to take off writing again…
Medical News:
Colds, Shingles, another cold, I get what is going around and seem to get over it. Monthly maintenance drugs for the myeloma keep me stable and I’m at MRD (minimal residual disease).
Pause with me to enjoy the stillness, gratefulness like no other.
It’s been 3.5 years. An extreme ride. In the stillness I spoke of above, this is on my mind:
“I have looked back to times of trial with a kind of longing, not to have them return, but to feel the strength of God as I have felt it then, to feel the power of faith, as I have felt it then, to hang upon God’s powerful arm as I hung upon it then, and to see God at work as I saw him then.” (Spurgeon)
While cancer scourged me with unknowns, I was also exposed to almost imperceptible beneficence that cannot be seen or quantified or reproduced. Through disturbing, harrowing, experience—goodness.
This is not about hitting my head on a wall and enjoying a painless moment when I quit.
Moses went up and talked with God on the mountain. A forty-day fast from both food and water. When he trundled back down his face shone. Being present with God must fill every cell with light.
I found light.
And no, my face does not glow in the mirror, but I would STILL choose this path again.
I don’t want to lose what I found.
I don’t want to lose you, fearless Traveling Companions. Those who have not and will not abandon me.
I read about a woman doing a marathon. At mile 22, just as she was hitting a wall, the end of herself where mind and body shut down, another runner, coming from behind, put their hand on the small of her back and gave a slight push.
When you cannot go another step and…
small as it is, you get a push, one slight touch becomes enough to keep going. I present to you:
“The Buddy Push.” Unexpected goodness seemingly out of nowhere.
Every single person is slogging through some kind of mud…
…living out the hard and unexpected. I’ve watched how afraid people are of catching my disease. I’ve been the person looking down, walking away, afraid to get involved. Afraid to touch someone else
…I even see myself trying to save what I’ve now found, hoarding rather than giving.
The slightest push is enough…
Try it…
… join me.
Ohhh and there is more NEWS … I have a book coming out soon. Many have asked if I would make a compendium of my Cancer Updates. Sorry, this will not be that.
With life threatened, bewildering & hard & horrible, what happens to faith?
Poems about the journey, this book is a walkabout where faith encounters hard things and the path becomes a dawning realization: a silent goodness. God Present. It’s called HAWK & SONGBIRD.
Stay tuned…
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The buddy push. I love this. The invisible world of endurance rests on such a delicate fulcrum. I’m so glad you are blogging again! I miss your observations. I feel it, the body push of encouragement at my back. Thank you so much. Can’t wait for your next post.
Bethany you are the quintessential encourager, the grace of your buddy push unequaled.
So so glad you are blogging again!
Musings AND photos! Spurgeon! The forthcoming book!
Can you hear my spirit chime?
The longing expressed feels like a hymn, an ongoing testament to staying the course. I am heartened, afresh. Thank you!
Laurie, thank you. You see it all–heart, soul, bones, and flesh. OH and the song. That too.❤️
for some reason, this brought a calm to me as I read it. maybe because we both understand in our own ways the goodness of God and his faithfulness and the purpose he gives us in it. not purpose for what we do or who we are becoming, rather the utter dependency of a child and his purpose for us and like a child even though we may not know what it is we trust it. does that even make sense? musings after a long day of work and then reading something that brought calm home to my soul.
Janet, bringing calm home to the soul. Who could ask for more? Peace it is we are all after, yes? Yes!
It’s a joy to hear your voice again Susan! Each time I feel that nudge to endure and thrive. Thank you for sharing not hoarding the goodness you’ve seen and lived.
Angie, you are the voice of enduring and thriving. Isn’t it a long and unending process? Yet, YET, goodness is embedded. Your life a wonderful shining testimony of this.
Thanks for the little peek into what God is teaching you Susan. Love and prayers for you continue
Lynn! So good to hear from you. And we pray for you and yours–life is so much better as we lean on each other ❤️.
Your words & how you put them together are a balm to the soul!
♥️
Kathy, you never miss the beauty in this world. We can gaze upon and enjoy the same things–no words necessary. Just ❤️.
Jane! You and Ken are never far from our prayers. “Balm to the soul” this is how I would describe the way you live life. So wonderful that we can be that for each other in completely different ways.❤️