Everyone is giving things up and I’m stuck
on 40 days. Another 40 days–
Noah bobbing in a flood;
Moses too too long on a clouded mountain;
Goliath getting his great big self up each day
and taunting Israel;
Jesus saying no to tantalizing offers.
Yep, and 40 days of Lent.
The symbol of testing.
For most people I know it’s
You know the drill…
an exercise in self-control.
Time elongates inexorably for me
with the hope of yielding up
into a transparent soul before God.
out of this sacrificial,
seemingly reverential act,
I watch myself proudly generate
some kind of proof of my love to God.
My sacrifice swings the world around
into brand new focus:
ME quietly and constantly
summing up how well I’VE done at this.
And if you must know,
this is an expectation,
an assumption of garnering
some kind of pleasure from God.
Call it me getting brownie points
for not eating one.
I know this feels critical.
I’ve made the 40 day prep
for Resurrection Day
ALL ABOUT ME.
Salvation is not earned.
well it’s like humility:
as soon as you think of it
you’re not doing it.
So I am honestly asking the question:
How does one retire the will, the self,
into the hands of the Lord
in genuine selflessness
even for one day?
Not my will but Thy will be done.
HOW DO YOU GIVE YOUR WILL TO GOD?
Is there a way to not think so much about me
for 1 or 2 or 40 days?
Oh please share the parts of your journey that have made your face shine
Please leave your thoughts in the comments!