I am a donkey when it comes to…
heeding colorful chalk messages that have magically appeared
on the sidewalks around my home.
Oh I know the messages are good-willed falderol,
a form of optimism.
So why do I balk?
Oscar Wilde once said. “The basis of optimism is sheer terror.”
What terror do I speak of?
Fact is:
I am not “the reason for smiles today.”
I am not “the reason for smiles today.”
I am not “the friend I wish I had.”
How imperfect I am—it’s brutally apparent
In these times.
Do you feel this too?
How do we help each other?
J. Ortberg reminded me there is another player.
“Optimism and hope are not quite the same thing. Optimism requires a belief in progress – that things will in fact get better for me. Hope includes all the psychological advantages of optimism, but it is rooted in something deeper. When I hope, I believe that God is at work to redeem all things, regardless of how things happen to be turning out for me today. Hope does not prevent me from expecting the worst – the worst is what the hopeful are prepared for.”
What fear yanks you around these days? Take courage, sometimes just saying it out loud takes its power away. Say your fears out loud.
I am afraid I am not a good friend.
Perhaps we can make hope endure beyond social distancing in comments below. Knowing we link virtual arms gives strength.
Hope.
I am a hopeful donkey.
We have a
Savior.
Take care. Watch for the King.
Jesus, our utterly perfect and capable Hope.
*
Nancy Ruegg says
LOVE this, Susan! From now on I’m not calling myself an optimist; I’m going by who I really am–a “hoper!”
Susan Cowger says
Nancy, you have no idea how much I needed your words today. I reread my own quote from Orberg above. “…When I hope, I believe that God is at work to redeem all things, regardless of how things happen to be turning out for me today. Hope does not prevent me from expecting the worst – the worst is what the hopeful are prepared for.”
Since I wrote this blog I have been diagnosed with cancer (multiple myeloma). Talk about putting my post to the test. May my words be not be platitudes in anyone’s heart, including my own, but truth and hope when the bottom falls out of life. I can see why the bible says …have faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love. That is what you sent. Absolutely essential. Thank you.
Nancy Ruegg says
Oh Susan–I am just reading this today. I am so sorry you have received such a difficult diagnosis. I’ll be praying your symptoms are held at bay and you respond well to treatment. Yes, “hold on to faith, hope, and love,” dear sister in Christ!
Colleen says
I wrote the following this morning……a rough night and I had to find a way to express.
Then read your blog. Only hope….I hang on but He hangs on tighter.
I wake in darkness
Grief so deep the pain is physical.
Rising, climbing stairs
Finding the familiar chair.
Tonight, there are tears
They bring relief.
Not always.
Sometimes anger and harsh words
Spoken to emptiness.
How could you
Not a question
No answer would suffice.
I pick up the ancient Book.
Hold it close,
Wishing its words would wash.
I read; To comfort those who mourn.
To give them beauty for ashes.
Comfort – how?
Can life be found in ashes?
I see my pain exploding.
Blunt, unkind words;
Selfish actions.
Comforting vices….
They lie.
No more placebo
Self-medication….
The side effects debilitate
I’m frantic
Blind
Desperate
I can’t find the key
He shall open
He shall shut
I give you the keys to the kingdom…
Kingdom?
This one heart please.
It’s enough.
A song flutters,
My hope is built on nothing less….
Hope?
You only, only holy
Open my heart to receive
Truth.
Susan Cowger says
Colleen! Your words are my heart today. I fell in lockstep with you with each new line. Thank you. I am not alone–not only because there is a Savior but because there you are going through these hard things too. I felt my arm holding on to yours. Yes, yes. Open our hearts…
Carol Wilson says
I am so grateful I found you today through Jody Collins’ blog. Your artwork draws me to not just scan, but invest a moment–or more–and see. I’ve only ready one blog post (this one) so far, but it also caused me to stop and ponder. Along with the others who’ve commented, the quote about hope stopped me, caused me to read again. It’s a quote I’ll save. Also, your honesty in writing “I’m not the friend I wish I had” flashed red into my heart. I read another blog post this week in which the author expressed being in a season where she’s looking for a friend. We’re only acquaintances at this time, but have taken some steps to get to know each other more. Anyway, I cried because it touched the truth that I am not able to be the kind of friend she desires for multiple, wish-they-didn’t-exist, reasons. Thank you for your expressive heart. God used you this morning to flash red into my heart; not a burning red, but a Grace burst.
Susan Cowger says
Carol! Your words resonate right back to me–with the admission of human frailty that we both see…it “flash[es] red into my heart; not a burning red, but a Grace burst.” I love those words. Makes me know we hear each other and we lean into each other without hiding. Such comfort. Thank you. I don’t yet know you but I like you already. Love to you.
Susan Cowger says
Jody, I know what you mean. There is a place, where after disarming fear by saying it aloud, that we speak the Truth. Perhaps this looks like leaning into the Father, even without words. I love the way you ask for help from God. I heard recently that it is good to not ask God WHY IS THIS HAPPENING, but rather, WHERE ARE YOU IN THIS? I think that is what you are saying.
Jody Lee Collins says
Oh, I so love Ortberg's take on hope! I have been saying out loud that I am fearful these days, then I have a moment where I talk it over with Jesus and say, "so Lord, where's that coming from? Will you help me here?"
Yes, God may these current changes and perspective shifts take root and go deep!
Susan Cowger says
Fear becomes “Encircled with boundaries…” SO TRUE. Thank you for putting it so clearly! Love you!
Susan Cowger says
So true, Laurie! I think the worst as a check to my faith. To see if I am with holding trust in God. It’s a weird testing of myself more than God. ~SC
Laurie says
"Hope does not prevent me from expecting the worst – the worst is what the hopeful are prepared for.”
What is it about quotations that lends such weighty authority to words we secretly want to believe?
I fret over ever-needing to visualize all possible outcomes, the starkest, most rigorous endgame, that one thing I KNOW I can't face on my own two feet, only on my knees. I worry this is sin, a grief to my Father who, when I pause to consider, ADORES my knees — buckled. Trembling. His.
Craig and Bethany says
Even secretly whispering our fears shrinks them, unmasks them. They are suddenly finite, gently encircled with boundaries. We see the silhouette of provision. Everyday I’m afraid I’m not enough. And truth is, I’m not. Oh silhouette of God’s provision.