Seeing in the Dark

May 26, 2025

Yes, I’ve been quiet

Lo, I am very much alive. Survival now is gratitude. The most valuable part of me, life itself, in the way of longing for another breath and finding it, has become like the infamous rocks that must cry out in God’s presence. And in that heralding the best and hardest aspect of being a writer/artist arrives predictably: wonder…

…on a dark night

a single candle can be seen between 10 and 30 miles away (depending on terrain). Even with that wide variation, light against dark is penetrating. The soul longs for light in darkness. Look within, they say…but who can see inside?

I’ve had practically every scan known to man, skull opened for brain surgery, blood extracted for stem cell transplant, continuing blood tests every four weeks, needles piercing the hip bone in search of marrow. Every tooth x-rayed. Eyes—is this better or this? All these eyes gather their findings, deftly charted, scrutinized. This gaze of modern medicine has not quit looking inside me since spotting multiple myeloma five years ago.

What child doesn’t love

hide & go seek at night. Darkness ups both fear and the mirage of safety. Dark ambushes induce wild screaming, such that any momma would do what my mom did—axe the whole game hissing “Get inside. Neighbors will call the cops.”

With childish callings we make up ways to save ourselves from the darkness

“Olly olly oxen free…”

“Thou shall not pass…” *

I watched a FB reel where an artist said if you want to pull viewers into your painting, do it with DARKS. Be very dark in one place. He called it black. Everyone will look there. I find this interesting and compelling. True.

Speaking of light…

3 All things were made by him; and without him was not anything made that was made. 4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not (John 1:3-5 kjv).

We cannot see God but life allows us to comprehend him? Somehow…

…a painting does not pull one in with darkness but with the hope of light.

Andrew Peterson says, “…The mother shines brightest with her child in her arms, the father when he forgives his wandering son, and the artist when…drawing attention to grace, by showing the pinprick of light overcoming the darkness in the painting, or the story, or the song….”

Close your eyes, find Eigengrau…

Eigengrau…that’s the color you see on the backside of your eyelids. Our eyes perceive this slight grey color even in total darkness. One photon’s worth of light always remains with us always. Even so with the blind. Light—the life of man. Indeed.

Keep us kind and honest and good. This I ask in Jesus name A-MEN.

Susan

* from Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings